[Draconian/"The Amaranth"] (II)*

*-It's number two on mibba.com

I wrote this yesterday, 28 February 2008

There he is again, that man in a black suit

He continues waiting forever for me, watching me

Stumble and fall--always picking me up from Hell's clutches

He smiled at me, called me Sabrina

When my name is Aden

He walked with me, talked with me

And told me things I don't remember

And even if I did I would not tell you

It's personal, between him and I

Those blue-green-grey eyes stare

Piercing my soul

My knees go weak and my mind goes blank

I let you look, I let you in with your eyes

Search me, Love, and tell me what you see

What you find, search me

Open me up, I'm your book

Read me as we walk down the narrow road

Away from the Light, the pretty things

Towards the Aurora Borealis, towards the inky black sky

Towards fate, towards love, towards my real end

I can only imagine, only wonder what I will see

You finish reading and you embrace me tightly

I smell your smell and I slip...just a bit...in your arms

Holding onto me still, steadfast. And I waited, patiently

He read my mind and said

"You're already there, Love. This is it."

Like the gentleman he is, he kissed my hand

And in a flash was gone

I look up at the Alabaster sky

And contemplated--

[L'Ame Immortelle/"Will you?"

I wrote this today in SI.

We crashed, hitting the world

Destroying ourselves

She was at the height of her prime

So was he

He came out there in the morning

And called me "Kristen"

He smiled a manic smile

And on wheels we flew

Passing the world, a multicolored wonder

He looked at me

And we Crashed into the multicolored Wonder

Destroying ourselves

[L'Ame Immortelle/"Ich gab Dir alles"]

This is something I wrote yesterday, 27 February 2008 in English class.

I see him nearby, a blue-green-gray eyed man

A black suit, he waited forever

He watched me fall, and was always picking me up

His smile sad, his eyes understanding

"Are you fine, Aden?" he extends a hand--Pale, but warm in my grasp

I stand, unable to pull away from his grasp

And follow his lead

I wrote a lengthier poem similar to this in my study hall, and I like the longer, myself.

[L'Ame Immortelle/"In the Heart of Europe (zK remix)"]

***Disclaimer:You've come across my opinions. You might not like them & you are more than welcome to leave and find a blog that's not so....against you. That's fine. Just don't try to convert me in any way, shape or form and we'll be okay***

"Here in the heart of Europe

No one stands up proud no more

Here in the heart of Europe

Our culture is a dying whore"

--L'Ame Immortelle

"In the Heart of Europe"

That's my inspiration this early Tuesday morning when I should be in bed. That, and a friend's blog. And that's simply because I get brain-waves. You might see something about Emily Dickinson on here next (we're studying her in English at the moment, but I really like her work. She's good.)

"Everybody's just consuming

What the media's dictating

But they all have just forgot

The joy that there is to creating."

--L'Ame Immortelle

"In the Heart of Europe"

But seriously, when it comes to stereotypes and what not, I'm thinking that we really do take the media too literally. It's insane. It feels like...no one is making their own opinions anymore. Sure, the TV, full of stuff that's bound to vitiate you (I don't think I used that correctly but I'll push on anyhow.), can be a help to open your mind--especially the Discovery Channel's A Haunting. Now that's something to watch. It's scary, but it's just interesting too, especially when you get even curiouser about it to the point where you're just all....."I've got to read more about it." That's perhaps how things might have been before all this miscellaneous stuff happened. Maybe, and I truly think so. 

As the song (rightfully? That's your opinion) says, we just consume what the media's giving us, usually without second thought...without a "maybe..." to come after it. We want the cat good, dead and slaughtered. (You know, "curiosity kills the cat...") There isn't enough curiosity, and as a result, we're just not there anymore. Just shootings and killings and video games...hell, this life is a video game it seems when you look at it from another point of view...if you look at God playing with a constantly refreshed original PlayStation....okay, an XBox and he's controlling all of us using that damned joystick, deciding whether or not he wants to let so many of us die with only one life, bring people into the world screaming and crying, bring them into the world as stillborns, or maybe have a car accident happen. Hm...? Or maybe give someone 3 lives and they don't know that they are on their last one. That's friendly.

It seems like we're dying, we're being slaughtered because we are slaughtering ourselves. When I used to go to church, someone told me that America was "broken", that evangelists were coming to America to fix us. I don't think that's going to work. I'm not saying it won't, I'm just saying that I don't think so. I believe in possibilities, not grandeur so much I don't think, not anymore. 

Things seem more or less real...probably less. The world is just....open for slaughter, I suppose with the way we're going what with 9/11, Virginia Tech and what just happened up at North Illinois University, to name a few "shocking" moments. There're more, but I'm trying to stay recent.

Newer music in the Pop genre of things doesn't help either. I don't think we need anymore people for music if they can not do it well. That's just it. Seriously, almost everyone I know knows "Girlfriend", the most annoying song in the history of the music that I've heard and either liked/disliked. That, or "Soulja Boy"....I won't tolerate that song. I'll walk out if I hear it. That means, yes, if some asshole played that horror and I can hear it, I will simply walk out and wait for it to leave. Or ask if I can pull out my iPod. Which I should.

But moving along....now this is becoming a rant. If you want you can always read another blog if you even made it THIS far down the line. Or you can continue reading, trying to make my thoughts make sense. If they don't, leave me a comment, and we'll see if after an explanation it will make more or less sense to you.

We've got to better defend our minds from just processing without thinking. There's got to be some thought along the way.....shouldn't it?

***I might come back to edit this.***

[Vesania/"Posthuman Kind"]

Otherwise known [the post...not the song, people!] as lack of understanding. I say it so many times it's not enough, but one of my friends has it and it feels like the fucking plague. But, I can't change that, really, can I?

So anyways, I'm in his car [as friends, nothing more, nothing less...he's been doing me favors] telling him about how all of my teachers went essay happy [In preparation for the HSPA], and I couldn't write an essay today for shit....so I told him about how for one of the essays I wanted to write a story & he, being the fucker he can be [no wonder I want to one day crucify him on an inverted cross and leave him as a sacrifice to the first hungry animal who finds him], says that that's an "excuse". Well, if that's so, screw excuses and screw you!

I don't go around making excuses all willy-nilly on a daily basis. I'm not like that--but I'm willing to make a compromise with you. Like "I really can't do this....but I'll do this." This person, this ass, says that that's an excuse for not doing it the right way. Playing on what I've got [anyone I know who's reading this knows what I mean by "what I've got"...and we're NOT talking sex, buddy! Mental shit!] That's annoying when that's out of my control. Can't control what I can't control. Let HIM walk around in my shoes for a day or so....and let him live my life. I'd bet almost anything that he was spoiled...but I won't get into that. I don't feel like it and will make this longer than it is already.

But, in all seriousness though...I wasn't asking for an excuse. Sure, my teachers let me get away with murder--not literally, though,otherwise my thoughts would be a bit sicker, I think--they let me do what I want...and if the ass is thinking something different, perhaps he should get the axe....until he bleeds. But, no, I don't make excuses. They are at liberty to say no--they just don't.

So, are you going to hang me on the inverted cross I speak of, just because my teachers deny me basically nothing. I know what to do, I just don't like the way it's done and have another apporoach as to how it can be done. I know what's an excuse and I know what's not. You don't have my morals and you're surely not living in my head, dude. And trust me, if you were, you couldn't stand the sounds that thrive there. [Thankees, love!] Don't change me, don't even try it. I'm fine just as I am at the moment. I don't want conversion and I sure as fuck don't want ignorant cunts living in MY head, taking MY thoughts. No, that won't happen and if it does I'll give you a damn good reason not to come back. 

I can be mean, but I can be über-sweet...and for right now...you want my über-sweet side because I can be mean and cruel just like the next person---except I don't, again, brag like a self-righteous ass about what I can do and where I'm from. LIke I tell many people [paraphrased] "Show me what you can do, don't tell me!" Of course, when it comes to fighting I'll fight you until someone either pulls me up off of you, we give up, or we die, slain by the other. 

I had this one fucker, Lyndell. I almost fought him because I told him I thought of something he did as being hypocritical [something with the fucking window in our classroom....], so he starts telling me that he's from fucking Calhoun Street in fucking Trenton, NJ [you can slaughter him if you want....]. All he did is tell me what he can do....never showed me. I hate that because if you've got the balls to talk, you've got to have the bigger balls to fight me and be destroyed [or not]. Of course, everyone has it coming...but I think the ignorant especially because that's my belief and if you crucify that and find that you're Satan's sex slave don't say anything....I'm just Aden, I'll always be Aden....and I'm fucked up. I know it, you know it, and we all fucking deal with it.

So...what have we learned? 

We've learned that I don't come up with excuses, I come up with alternatives, compromises.

I can't stand people who talk and don't fight.....physically, that is. That means your balls aren't as big as you say they are. You might want to fix that.

We've also learned that I don't take your crucifixions, you take mine.

Extended Inroductory

And a few more things. 

--I scare people. I admit it and it might make my numbers small. But I scare people. I scared some kid in my 11B English class for stuff you need not know....and if you do know that's okay too. Just don't tell. The things I say and do scare people. Funnily enough, I don't scare people too....I don't scare two people, and they know who they are. I don't scare them, which is damned good. I need someone to talk to who won't freak out once I tell about the stuff I do and the things I think and the stuff I listen to.

People shouldn't just go on what they see, they need the time to throughly "examine" someone before they deem them as being "uncool" or "freaky" or whatever. But, of course, people do and they're denied really good people....all because they did not delve further in. I think that they are blinded by stereotypes and lies based on what they have been taught. That's not to say that I am any better than anyone reading this [because I'm not and I know this]. That's saying that that might be a reason why people are the way they are. 

Of course, not all people are like this.....but I just wish that they'd maybe stop by and say hi to the class outcast or what have you. Or the kid who everyone avoids because s/he's Goth or what their last name is Hussein (there is actually some kid in my school whose last name is Hussein) or because they're Muslim or whatever. That's just wrong and unfair to them because it is not their fault that this is who they are. I'm just trying to say that I (try) to respect people for who they are....not because they know every Cradle of Filth song (though that would pique my interests even MORE...). They're just people, we're just people. Why we are so destined to outcast us is just beyond me.

I like to listen to Evanescence & people think that I am emo. I barely know what emo is, but from what forums say, I'm not. :) I just like the music, why am I emo? I tell people about L'Ame Immortelle, and they just leave. Guys try to set me up for dates (which is why I've got to start saying that I'm taken otherwise they'll try to set me up with dates for the upcoming Junior Prom. 

I don't like being set up either....for my failure, or for a date (which is failure because I'm so socially inept.) I'm smart, and I get a big bang out of reading and finding new music and writing. I write poetry that people think is good. Sometimes I don't think so, but hey, everyone has a different opinion--who am I to crucify you just because we don't agree?

Basically, there is so much more that meets the eye...but what the eye takes in the mind forms opinions on...which is not bad, mind you. But when it gets in the way of things...forming stereotypes...then I think it's bad. Not the opinion making, no. The fact that we let stereotypes dictate to us.

That's all I have for now. Stick to your opinions and I'll stick to mine.

[Evanescence/"Before the Dawn"]

*Just so we all know, yes that's an Evanescence Song....can't tell you which album it comes off of 'cause I don't know...but that's what this blog is semi-inspired by--the song.

*Furthermore, I don't mean to offend anyone reading this.

Okay, so today was funny. Especially during the time between fifth & sixth periods.

You know what pie is, aside from the mathematical kind & the kind that you eat?

Well, my friend kept talking about pie and I said that I liked pie too so he asks if I'm bi & I just looked at him. That was funny. So I start trying to differentiate between the sexual pie and the pie that your grandparents might cook and I said "well my grandma makes pie but I don't eat her out" and my friend just gave me the most pissed off look in the whole world and I was just laughing and laughing just laughing and he's yelling & I'm just laughing.

It's one of those things that you had to be there to see. :)

--Aden Recreated

[L'Ame Immortelle/"Judgement"[as performed by Faith and the Muse]]

"All the wisdom that I earned

Can't make a change to this state

As I lay down, my spirit's arms

On my knees to seal my fate"

We all know what I'm after with this....I hope.

The above lyrics are my inspiration, I have nothing else so far. I didn't go anywhere and even if I did, the journey wasn't long enough to crank out another piece worth reading or posting.

But...we'll see what I can do.

I suppose I can say, "you know how people might save the world one day?". I don't think so so much. It just doesn't seem to be. I mean, it's 2008. Whatever Christ did for us is never forgotten, but look.....things are just going downwards, down towards Hell...and songs like whatever Soulja Boy & similar artists come out with make it a bit worse.

Sure, it's inevitable. The world is crumbling around us, and has been since 2001 [or perhaps even earlier...that depends on your belief system, though]. We're supposed to cease to exist in 2012.....so everyone's making up all this stuff to instill fear in us. [and I'll admit it...I'm somewhat afraid. Dying's so not my thing.] 

In all seriousness, though, we're shutting down. Things seem a bit more prominent. Especially with guys with their pants hanging half off their ass [my biggest pet peeve], looking like they lack dignity. It's just a pet peeve. 

But...no matter how many stories we can come up about saviors and heroes saving the world....it'll just crumble, and burn in hell. We all know it'll happen anyways.

But for now....I'll just stop here. Or I'll pick this up tomorrow, Thursday, in the library during second and fifth periods. :)

Aden Recreated

Monastic(Anthoni)/"Butterfly"

Tonight's piece comes in the form of poetry. It's a poem I wrote on the way home listening to my headphones.

Yes, in all seriousness. All I need to know is if the artist is correctly spelled or if I'm suppose to take out something.

This is called Why Couldn't You Stay

Why Couldn't You Stay?

You professed it to the world at ease

"I love you"...so many variations

Exuberant

Everything you sent means something, everything, to me

The person you profess to love and never destroy

Never hurt or maim, taint

I never wanted to destroy you

I don't want to rip your wings off, as the song says

But, even just for a little while

I don't want you to forget me

The person you profess day and night you love

A hundredfold over, my sweet

But, one day you, in silence, plan your departure

If my curiosity hadn't gotten the best of me

I'd've thought you just left for a spell, and

Things would be normal again, right

We're just illusions..you're just an illusion

I admired you for years on end

I loved a butterfly, an

Illusion

Floating away

Tears consume me

So I drown

I loved a butterfly, an

Illusion

A faint gurgle, and I collapse

Death's butterfly, a wish among the kingdom

Just so we all know...whatever mentioning of lyrics are not mine...are not mine. They are the title person's lyrics. That's gotta get cleared up now.

Of course...there might be more tomorrow when I get out of my SAT prep course. :)

Toodles, 

Aden Recreated

[L'Ame Immortelle/"LIfe will never be the same again"]

I'm not inspired by the title. That's another time, another place....and another reality. This is just the song I'm listening to at the moment. I woke up wanting to listen to this. [I woke up wanting to listen to "Bitterkeit", and changed the mind.]

The song I'm listening to, on the other hand, is really good, a bit better than the one I had off of the album "Lieder die wie Wunden Bluten", but I'm not sure. Thomas' voice has something...but I like it in the version I just previously mentioned. I don't know why, but I do know that I'm going to order the rest of L'Ame Immortelle's (the band....French name, but a majority of their songs are in German & that's just peachy. German's kinda like English anyways. Except that Gift(in German) is poison. Among many other false cognates or whatever they're called

Nice. Real nice.

Just so we all know, I'm 17 & don't want sex...cyber or otherwise, just yet. :)

Don't give it before I decide to crucify you. 

I have no poetry for you. Perhaps when school starts back up (tomorrow), I'll have something and you'll like it much. People say I'm a good writer, but that's what they & I think---not what you think. Just search Aden Recreated in Google or Yahoo or something. Results should come up. I have too much.

And I want a pickle. Such as life

Introductory

Just so we all know...everything on here is real. It's happened once before. What I write can come in the form of poems, stories or rants. What ever I prefer. It's not your concern as to what I write. It's just how it is.

You don't have to read what I'm typing, but I'd like it if you did. Maybe you can relate to what I'm saying. Maybe you care. Now that's going to be one hell of a surprise. Honestly that would be.

Yes, I can be "not like everyone else" it's no matter to me. I've had many people tell me I'm weird and walk away without a backwards glance. I don't know what the "WooTang" is, and I don't care what it is---you just won't catch me doing it. I'm just not that kind of person...I don't get my kicks like that. I get my kicks off of placing my opinions on the world wide web.

The stuff you find is just the stuff you find. It's not important....I take that back. Yes it is. It's very important. You see the world through the eyes of a 17 year old. I'll be seventeen on Wednesday.

Weird, isn't it? 

Once you get past the fact that I listen to music that can scare the bejesus out of people, I'm a cool person. Not cool cool..but cool enough.

Now...immerse yourselves.