19 March 2008

In Strictest Confidence [Evanescence/"Anywhere"]

For Christian Marchetti...unless my business must be told, whatever I tell you is in confidence. Therefore, you need to keep your mouth shut.

I told you this
In strictest Confidence
And you're dropping bombs about it
I told you this
Only to be shot down
In strictest Confidence I told you this
And it means absolutely nothing to you

So much for that...in strictest confidence

[Evanescence/"Anywhere"]

I wondered how long it would be before the ink sets down and dries
I now wonder how long it would be before the tears fell

You break my confidence and now you break me
Take the fragile material and rip it up and tear it down
These words don't approximate my feelings, no matter how wretched they are
I don't think my words do--approximate my feelings

There's all the pretending, the circulating of letters and words
Most of them fictitcious and cruel
No one really knows the full story, no one bothers to ask
And I can't be bothered with the "deaf"
That is, the people who can hear and won't bother comprehending

People constantly condemn in supercilious tones and it
Kills me

I want for you to come and find me
And take me to where you live, to the beach and just stay with me
Even though dependence is my undoing

I want to be free, I've always wanted to be free
Free of what Society says
Following my will...not God's

I stopped because it wasn't for me
The singing and the what not
Feeling a sense of unease
I left

Where are you when I need you, Dear?
I love you, I miss you
Please, won't you find me?

[Casting Crowns/"Does Anybody Hear Her"]

I know this is a "Christian" band, but over a year ago I found this song via a mention of it in someone's poem. The song doesn't seem that way, though. The following is NOT a suicide note (why in hell would I put that on a site no one might ever see??), but simply emotions.

No one really truly sees me
All they see are the negative things
And nothing positive
Nothing truly worth remembering
Nothing significant
Just music that makes people's ears rot

I just wish that they could see the kind of person that thrives
Underneath the black disposition and behind blue glasses
I seem to fall behind, and never catch up
And why should I, really?
So I can be mocked?

There is no Prince Charming
Nothing of the sort here
Not in my immediate vicinity
He's in a faraway land, too far for comfort

I just have to wonder if it's worth it sometimes
To continue fighting through
I know people who don't want to see me drown
But they can't see through my mask
Can they?

What are your closest friends if they can't see through the mascara
The bronzer, the blush, the lipstick and the tan? (There's more to it)
Beneath that is the breaking, the creaking, the shrieking and the crying
Floors below, the lower the sadder and twice as desolate

I can't wait, and trust is a miniature option
The pen moves, just as the tears down my face and the
Gun through my hands, kissing my temple
Thumb on the trigger
They course down my face in rivers
Hand quivering
The trigger pulled, the sound never heard
And there I am, in a better place

My pain's over, my searching done
Nothing to remember her by

[L'Ame Immortelle/"Calling"] II

I also wrote this in SI

"Can you hear (can you hear) me calling?
(Are you listening to me?)
Can you see (can you see) me falling?"

Perfect blue tears fall from bright green eyes
He'll meet his doom, leaving her like that
Her world shattered, the rain pelting her as she walked
Vengeance

I loved you, why can't you return the favor?
I saw you a long time ago, and i loved you then
I still do. I still do.

Section in quotes is "Calling" by L'Ame Immortelle.

[L'Ame Immortelle/"Calling"]

This is a poem I wrote in SI today.

"Can you hear me calling
Are you listening to me
Can you see me falling
Or are you too blind to see?"

I want you to find me
Or i just want you to try
There is everything, falling apart
I don't want to do this--I can't move, feeling like lead

There's no way you can see me
There no way you know or hear
I tried, I waited
I called, I failed
And I died. Their Christ.