19 February 2008

[Vesania/"Posthuman Kind"]

Otherwise known [the post...not the song, people!] as lack of understanding. I say it so many times it's not enough, but one of my friends has it and it feels like the fucking plague. But, I can't change that, really, can I?

So anyways, I'm in his car [as friends, nothing more, nothing less...he's been doing me favors] telling him about how all of my teachers went essay happy [In preparation for the HSPA], and I couldn't write an essay today for shit....so I told him about how for one of the essays I wanted to write a story & he, being the fucker he can be [no wonder I want to one day crucify him on an inverted cross and leave him as a sacrifice to the first hungry animal who finds him], says that that's an "excuse". Well, if that's so, screw excuses and screw you!

I don't go around making excuses all willy-nilly on a daily basis. I'm not like that--but I'm willing to make a compromise with you. Like "I really can't do this....but I'll do this." This person, this ass, says that that's an excuse for not doing it the right way. Playing on what I've got [anyone I know who's reading this knows what I mean by "what I've got"...and we're NOT talking sex, buddy! Mental shit!] That's annoying when that's out of my control. Can't control what I can't control. Let HIM walk around in my shoes for a day or so....and let him live my life. I'd bet almost anything that he was spoiled...but I won't get into that. I don't feel like it and will make this longer than it is already.

But, in all seriousness though...I wasn't asking for an excuse. Sure, my teachers let me get away with murder--not literally, though,otherwise my thoughts would be a bit sicker, I think--they let me do what I want...and if the ass is thinking something different, perhaps he should get the axe....until he bleeds. But, no, I don't make excuses. They are at liberty to say no--they just don't.

So, are you going to hang me on the inverted cross I speak of, just because my teachers deny me basically nothing. I know what to do, I just don't like the way it's done and have another apporoach as to how it can be done. I know what's an excuse and I know what's not. You don't have my morals and you're surely not living in my head, dude. And trust me, if you were, you couldn't stand the sounds that thrive there. [Thankees, love!] Don't change me, don't even try it. I'm fine just as I am at the moment. I don't want conversion and I sure as fuck don't want ignorant cunts living in MY head, taking MY thoughts. No, that won't happen and if it does I'll give you a damn good reason not to come back. 

I can be mean, but I can be über-sweet...and for right now...you want my über-sweet side because I can be mean and cruel just like the next person---except I don't, again, brag like a self-righteous ass about what I can do and where I'm from. LIke I tell many people [paraphrased] "Show me what you can do, don't tell me!" Of course, when it comes to fighting I'll fight you until someone either pulls me up off of you, we give up, or we die, slain by the other. 

I had this one fucker, Lyndell. I almost fought him because I told him I thought of something he did as being hypocritical [something with the fucking window in our classroom....], so he starts telling me that he's from fucking Calhoun Street in fucking Trenton, NJ [you can slaughter him if you want....]. All he did is tell me what he can do....never showed me. I hate that because if you've got the balls to talk, you've got to have the bigger balls to fight me and be destroyed [or not]. Of course, everyone has it coming...but I think the ignorant especially because that's my belief and if you crucify that and find that you're Satan's sex slave don't say anything....I'm just Aden, I'll always be Aden....and I'm fucked up. I know it, you know it, and we all fucking deal with it.

So...what have we learned? 

We've learned that I don't come up with excuses, I come up with alternatives, compromises.
I can't stand people who talk and don't fight.....physically, that is. That means your balls aren't as big as you say they are. You might want to fix that.

We've also learned that I don't take your crucifixions, you take mine.

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