30 April 2008

"How Could This Happen to Me?"

How am I supposed to survive this world without my pride and joy?
How am I supposed to survive the world without my iPod?

I've lost my iPod...my buddy. We've been through things....through Sean's stupidness....through Chris M's stupid speeches.....through those long walks around parks & to & from school....through being so upset I could just scream out some L'Âme Immortelle or Evanescence or what have you. Or through being so happy I could just sing "Silver Rain" (L'Âme Immortelle) over and over and over again. Where's that now?

Disappeared, beneath the shadows. What am I to do tonight?
I'll be depraved, nothing but a corpse with the inability to think. I'll go through withdrawal...again. Like the last time I lose my iPod back in September. Anxiety for a few days before I got it back...but, now I fear that I'll never get it back. I don't know where it's gone...and I can't find it!!! I need my iPod like people need a cure for AIDS, like third world countries are in desperate need of food, like people need shelter, like people---oh you get the fucking idea! I'm doomed, I'll spiral out of control--there's nothing in my ears to keep me sane except for when I stay home! The horror!

I'll keep you posted.

Suspension: Day 2

It wasn't so bad today. It won't be so bad tomorrow. Get to see the gang as well--they know who they are.

If Lyndell is expecting an apology, at the moment he is wishing for too much, despite the dream that I had. It was of him apologizing to me...and me doing the same. I meant it in my dream--as of right now I do not mean it, and I would be wasting my breath on saying I'm sorry right now. So I won't say it.

Punishments have no effect on me. I am apathetic about them.

Let's see how tomorrow goes.