What....what's happened? [Update]

http://www.postpoems.com/members/fallen_warrior

You are strongly encouraged to click that link and read the poems in the folder entitled "Violations"

I'm sitting here in the middle of being extremely lost. It's like a puzzle, and I've only half the pieces. If I go to school I will surely die of extreme anxiety that is impossible to tell anyone about because it can be misseen--I will not post that here.

But, seriously, I spent a lot of time on Wikipedia looking up hysteria, anxiety and amnesia--because I remember that happened. I was hysterical beyond belief, and I don't understand why. Nothing on wikipedia matches the symptoms I've said. The only thing that might make sense was I believe Lacunar amnesia, loss of memory on one specific event--and looking back on that not even it makes sense because I don't have any recollection about anything really. About anything. I'm literally trying to reconstruct myself, and I don't find it to be easy. It's like...nothing makes sense, I don't remember almost anything. I barely remember who I am.

I'm very lucky all my passwords are the same...I just hope I remember the combination to my locker...

If you're reading this and you know me, you have anything to jog my memory, please just call or leave a comment and we will see what happens...if you think you know why this is happening, just leave me a comment on that too. Anything helps now.

This shouldn't be happening if I'm telling a friend a story. Sure, I've got nervousness about that, but never to the point where I'm losing my mind over it...that's un-Aden like, I think.

Back in Class....What's New?

Well, Friday I was back in school. It was kinda easy, but the shock I caused! I caused shock in Child Study (if you know me, or even just in general you know what this is) when I went for my meeting on Thursday--I had to attend that, I'm like 98% sure that it's law. I went, and my Case Manager was like "What happened?" and everything. So I told her. She was shocked. My English teacher, when I came in on Friday, was shocked. She looked horrified, actually. So much for the extension on the English essay, huh?

People--all the really immature ones, anyways--asked me about the fight and did I win. I don't give two shits about whether or not I won. Why is that so important these days? Chris R was ready to slaughter Lyndell though. I told him because I hadn't been in English for three days straight--and Chris R is one of those people who know me really well. So I told him. He didn't care whether or not I won--he wanted to serve justice.

All in all, it felt weird. Know what's weirder? Being in school, on school grounds, while you are suspended. That felt the weirdest....

What....what's happened?

I don't get it, last night I'm crawling up and down my walls, freaking out. I can kinda remember that, but nothing else when you stop & think about it. Like...what happened? Why did it happen?

That's all I think about these days...what's happened? I was surprised to see my phone when I hung up it said 1hour, 6minutes and 20seconds pretty much around 12am this morning. I had freaked out for the better part of thirty minutes. I don't understand it....it's weird, it's strange, it's never happened that bad before....and it's driving me up the wall because something's wrong with me and I don't know what.

Anxiety that bad.....never had it that bad before. Ever, in the past three years, unless you count the very first one, which was two hours long, but involving less hysteria. Just shredding paper. I don't do that now....not so much. It's frightening, I scared people--hell, I scare people as it is....this has never happened before. It's like I'm not even here anymore because I don't remember anything really. I'm disoriented. Whatever's happened in the past roughly 12hours I don't remember. I just have to listen to music to keep me sane otherwise I think it will be worse than that....

What's happened?