Slightly scared to go to sleep, but I'll try anyways. We'll see what happens when I post here tomorrow.
Goodnight.
29 July 2008
What Next?
When I go outside, I think that everyone wants to hurt me--granted, there might be people out there who do want to hurt me--but I don't think everyone wants to hurt me, no.
It's an annoying feeling, actually, to be scared of everyone (or almost everyone) you come in contact with. Things seem to take longer than usual because it's like "Is this person going to try and hurt me?" "Are they going to shoot me--Do they have guns?" and it is very annoying and frightening and, I think, leaves me a mess in the end.
And while I'm thinking about it...I'm out of it more lately. I mean, yea, my memory is (as far as I know) intact and working, but I feel out of it and restless at times, mostly around 4 and 7 or 8pm. There's a store called Save A Lot right near where I live (it's not a long walk) and sometimes I have people wonder because I go in there at least 2 times a day because I get so bored and riled up that I have to volunteer myself (despite the fact that I'm afraid of being hurt everytime I step foot out of my apartment and down the flight of stairs and out of the main door) to go to the store to buy things for my mother, brother or sister.
I'm just one big mess.
It's an annoying feeling, actually, to be scared of everyone (or almost everyone) you come in contact with. Things seem to take longer than usual because it's like "Is this person going to try and hurt me?" "Are they going to shoot me--Do they have guns?" and it is very annoying and frightening and, I think, leaves me a mess in the end.
And while I'm thinking about it...I'm out of it more lately. I mean, yea, my memory is (as far as I know) intact and working, but I feel out of it and restless at times, mostly around 4 and 7 or 8pm. There's a store called Save A Lot right near where I live (it's not a long walk) and sometimes I have people wonder because I go in there at least 2 times a day because I get so bored and riled up that I have to volunteer myself (despite the fact that I'm afraid of being hurt everytime I step foot out of my apartment and down the flight of stairs and out of the main door) to go to the store to buy things for my mother, brother or sister.
I'm just one big mess.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
