3 June 2009

I know I haven't posted here in quite some time. I've lost the blogging feeling these days. But I'm kinda back but I have to go in a little bit. I have an Art Class and finals to worry about.

To be honest with you, I feel kinda anxious right now. I nearly lost it in English today because I guess I had been tugging on my pen and my friend Chris was like "What are you doing?" so I stopped and looked around and looked back and Chris who basically had a look that said "Are you alright?" I told him about the Voices and what they do to me. "They take stuff away from me," I said. "What do they take away from you?," he asked. "Memories," I replied. I wish that I had gotten more out but I really was scared and did not know what to do next. I also just found some stuff out about his girlfriend that I won't mention here.

I haven't taken any medication since...yesterday or the day before, but I think it was the day before. I don't remember. I have a hard time remembering stuff sometimes. It's tricky for me. Easy words sometimes suddenly become a challenge when I'm reading aloud. Like I was reading a friend's message aloud to myself earlier today and I got stuck for about a minute on the word "frequent". I feel a little lost, a little out of it, so I'm going to see if I can get ahold of a friend who can get me into gear a little later...see if the feeling doesn't pass before I waste my energy on the one phone call. I don't want that. I just don't.

If you're new in reading this blog, you should be well aware that I might post things frequently about whatever is happening in my head pertaining to voices or about summer and graduation, both of which are quickly approaching. But I find I post mostly about the Voices in my head and what goes on surrounding that. And anxiety as well. I've been told that I have anxiety disorder with compulsions. Or something similar to that. I do not remember the exact wording. I also have depressive episodes. I just recently got over a depressive episode. Am I boring you? If so, please stop reading.

But yea. That aside I'm a cool person to get to get to know. Just as long as you don't go into the realm of the overly personal, I'll answer just about anything you have to ask. Sound good?

Okay. I'll keep you posted, however long that may be.