But, other than that, it's Mid-Marking Period and reports are coming in the mail. Minus the Psychology paper I did not do on a mental health career (mostly because I could not find ANYTHING I could use. :( ), I'm doing pretty damn okay in school. Mentally...well, put like this. 35mgs of Thorazine works because I'm not hearing the voices anymore (least not at this moment as I'm typing...or all day for the last few days....the people I know should be glad to hear that.) It's also HSPA (High School Proficiency Assessment) make up week this week. Students who did not take or failed parts of the HSPA have this week to make it up or get a better grade. As a result, most kids in my English class were not there. Everyone was there in my Geometry class, but everyone in my Geometry class are Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors. In fact, I think I am one of the few Seniors in my Geometry class. In the minority. Just like in German class. I'm one of the oldest in my class. There's another seventeen year old, but I don't know when his birthday is. :( I'd like to know if I'm the oldest out of everyone (next to Frau Charlesworth) there.
Speaking of German, I got a C on my test (27/35 points). Not bad. A friend of mine would have hit the roof if he found out I got a C. I think he thinks I'm super girl or something like that and expects me to make all A's--not impossible, but still....a C is passing in my opinion (and in my mother's). I think that you just have to try hard enough to pass. If you want more, you go for more. It's that simple.
On Friday we played volleyball because it was wet and disgusting outside to play softball (thank goodness...I don't like softball in the slightest. Don't ask me why I signed up. Maybe it's because I needed to do something in Gym before I flunked out.
And speaking of Gym, I've been crying a lot in that class. I don't know if it is a side effect of 35mgs of Thorazine (I'll have to look that up) or my Abilify...or it's just because I'm a bit off like that. It's around the same time everyday lately--around 2pm or so. And people are just like "Why are you crying?" and it's just like....I don't know why I'm crying, I just know I am. And it's not cool at all. Nope, I don't think so. I cried in Volleyball on Friday, and I don't know why. I cried the first week of Gym, and I don't know why. I cried in softball, and I don't know why. I once cried in Geometry, and I don't know why. I don't know why I'm in this crying state of mind. Maybe it's because Mr. Pursell was going too fast for my liking? Maybe it's because I just felt the need to cry. Why, though? Why, why, why? What can I do to stop it from falling apart and to keep me from unraveling anymore than I am. I mean, I can't drop out of school.....as much as I love my mother, I want my kids to have better than I had. Living in and out of hotel rooms and constantly moving. I don't want for my kids to go through that, you know?
I'm glad if you made it this far down. Congrats :) This is a long blog, but I just kept on typing and typing.
Minus the fact that I won't go to bed until after 10:30 pm, I'm doing pretty okay, minus the crying.
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