In This Moment/"When the Storm Subsides"]

Wow, today I was midly angry and very, very sad. A lot can contribute to that these days. Like, the smallest thing can set me off these days. Like, everything to poetry to working on something to things people say. I'm very...not Aden right now, and it's hard to deal with, what with everything else. 

But, seriously though, very small things can send me crying or screaming or hitting my locker. My friend Chris R had to go see his girlfriend--which was fine & I told him so when he apologized to me in ninth period English class--but I didn't know that earlier. See, we have this thing (so I don't feel entirely left out & because I'm one of Chris' friends) where we go up to meet his girlfriend before sixth period (Lunch is fifth). I don't have a problem with his girlfriend, but that's his girlfriend for crying out loud. I don't meddle in people's love affairs unless I am asked to do so or something warrants an investigation and I'm trying to find out what's going on with my friend. Then, probably as a last resort, I will go to my friend's significant others. That's another Aden thing, I suppose. I try not to meddle in others' affairs. And yet I want to study law or psychology, both of which deal with people's issues. Heh.

I'm hitting lockers because hitting people has lost its satisfaction. I'll be honest with you. I've hit a few people this year--about five or so, and I've kicked one person. I do it when teachers aren't looking because most teachers don't notice what I'm doing; I'm a good student to them and them finding out that I've hit people is like....a straight A-student for his entire school career working at a mediocre place like McDonald's when he's thirty. That shouldn't happen because it's just wrong and uncool (yet the wrong and uncool happen anyways. Life's mean like that.). But...seriously. You know what I did after Chris R told me that he was sorry for leaving me? I cried, just a bit. I cried. Everything just seems impossible to do and a nightmare to even attempt. I left my IMO class because I wouldn't do my test--yet I would willingly do my Health paper on anxiety disorders. Just so you know, I think I've got them, so this is good for all of us to learn a little something about that. I've been told that I have a anxiety disorder from Chris M (most everyone I know is named Chris...please bear with me.) on 5 December 2004. He's got about the same thing. He has panic attacks. But I'll leave you alone on this for right now because I've got more thoughts poring in and I don't want to put them here and have your eyes hurt even more.

I'll be back in a moment. Comments are nice but not required.